Audiobook Progress Update Feb 18th, 2025

New microphone and stand? Check. New audio correction software purchased? Check. Now I just need to figure out how to get started recording the audiobook for Alpha's Ghost.

For the record, I do not really want to record the Audiobook myself, but my wife (my developmental editor) heard me read a few chapters and perform lines the way they sound in my head, and her reaction was, "You're the only one who can bring the story to life."

The #1 reason I don't want to do the audiobook is the burden of editing. I've recorded and edited long-form works before, and it's murder. However, for those works it was just straight narration, not performance. It's one thing to make sure you are enunciating words properly; it's another thing to make sure that character voices are distinct.

I did theater in high school, and even experimented with standup comedy at one point, but in neither case did I have to voice women. I have to say, I'm a little afraid of sounding ridiculous. I know that professional voice actors do this all the time, and I've watched YouTube videos where male narrators explain their approach. Sadly, I kinda think they sound ridiculous.

My approach to recording the audiobook will most likely follow the same pattern as writing Alpha's Ghost itself - just go for it. I figure if I give it maximum effort, maybe people will be so into the story they'll forget the fact that I'm a dude voicing three female leads and a supporting cast.

That said, I think I have my, "Gabriella" voice down, and I have most of my "Jasmine" voice, but Naomi is - just like her character - a pain in the ass. She goes through just about every emotion in Alpha's Ghost, and at best I think I can handle some of them.

Beyond the leads, there are certain supporting characters I'm intimidated by. Ironically, they happen to be the most intimidating characters in the book. I won't spoil who they are, but suffice to say that I think I lack the gravitas the characters warrant. However, I am not above doing equalization tricks in post-production to get my voice closer to how I hear the character speaking in my mind.

I'd mid-Feb now, and I have everything I need to start recording, so now it's pure procrastination. Once I start a project I don't stop, so it will be all-consuming while I do it. If history is any guide, it will take me about two months. The time, however, isn't really the source of me dragging my feet - it's listening to the sound of my own voice for hours listening for minor imperfections.

The biggest imperfections I listen for are called "mouth noises," which are the little clicks that our mouths make every time we talk, but we only notice when we are on sensitive mics and we "compress" the audio to make soft sounds louder and loud sounds softer. I have my mouth noises most under control, but the click still sneaks in, and every time I hear one mid-vocalization (meaning, in the middle of a word) that I know I can't remove I die a little inside.

To compensate, I finally broke down and purchased the recording industries best mouth-noise removal tool. I won't tell you how much it costs, but it's one of the most expensive software purchases I've made - and I develop software for a living. However, if it can remove my mid-vocalization mouth noises it will be worth every penny.

Hopefully once mouth noises are removed, listening to my own voice for hours will simply be an exercise in excruciating tedium and not also be a protracted exercise in self-flagellation.

That still then leads to the problem of getting the line delivery right, which I know from test readings is going to take several tries. Since I like cliff hangers and twists, certain lines have to be delivered exactly right or it will fall flat. I guess I'll have to do what they do in movies and do multiple takes.

There is a time pressure for getting this done: the summertime. To record I need to turn off my heating and cooling system or the noise cancelation software introduces strange artifacts. I can wear warm clothes in the winter, but I can't wear cold clothes in the summer.

Alright, off to find something else to do but start recording the audiobook. Maybe another short story?